My testing days in hospital

On Thursday morning, the day after my birthday, I arrived early to the hospital and filled out forms and such like. While waiting they gave me a little red stick that flashed, vibrated and buzzed to let me know when they were calling me back to the desk. A very cool tool that.

When I got to my bed I was pricked for a blood sugar test, asked more questions as well as what I would like for lunch and dinner.
While waiting for lunch I was punctured for quite a serious bit of blood samples and the empty urine sample cup was taken away without having been used.
Now by this time I had had quite a bit to drink and needed to do my thing, but I was hungry.
Lunch reminded me of aeroplane food. The portion was tiny.
That food didn’t help much but at least it was something edible?!

After I finished my lunch I decided to ask about the urine sample and was told “oopsie” and then did my thing.

Do you know what it is like to wait for something that you wonder will even come to pass?
I brought my Kindle along with me so that I could read while I waited. One and a half Harry Potter books later, the “chauffeur” came with a limo-wheelchair for me to be taken for the MRI.

I could have taken my phone and wallet with me because they had a little locker in the change room. The first thing one of the assistants noticed about me was my brightly mismatched socks. I proudly informed her that they hardly ever matched.
It was explained to me what sort of sounds I would experience during the MRI, so I was quite relaxed during the scan. I’m sure I fell asleep during the scan as the only sound I really remember was the first few tones, shuddering and knocking sounds. I did notice that some long tones were slowly rising in pitch. Although not the primary (fundamental) tone but the harmonics (partials). That was immense, fascinating and super relaxing.

I’m watching as the sleep monitor is being installed onto another patient. Glue, micropore tape, Ten20 cream, electrodes, breathing tubes, a harness and mini-terminal. This will be interesting to sleep in. Alas!
My monitor had so many electrodes and sensors that I lost count just wondering how I would be able to sleep. The electrodes (26) and sensors (4) were plugged into a box, and from there a laptop was connected. The whole installation took almost an hour and I was a wee bit high on the fumes from the glue. I overheard the one tech saying to the other tech that the laptop should be unplugged due to noise on the AC.
I hoped that the laptop would last and perhaps I should have said something because in the morning instead of being discharged I was informed that the laptop died because “someone” had disconnected the power and therefore only had three hours of data on it, so I was told to sleep for the day. The tech would come back at 16:00 to remove the equipment.

I didn’t bother reading. The day had finally come where I could literally sleep the hours away without being moaned at for being lazy and lying around doing nothing but sleeping away the day!
But after eating breakfast I couldn’t think of anything better to do than to go to the bathroom. I couldn’t go because I was attached to equipment and wires were a bit of a pain to move even when I sat up to eat.
I grabbed the remote and eagerly pressed the “Call Nurse” button. After what felt like hours a person who looked quite irritated came into the room and glared at me. This person obviously didn’t know I was bound to the bed – “You called me because You need to use the bathroom?!!”
I asked for a bottle and she gladly handed me a bottle and rushed out after closing the curtains around my bed.

Using the bed remote I was able to lower the bed sufficiently to be able to put the bottle down. There was no chance in hell that I was going to call the nurse again.
Funny story. After eating lunch I needed to drain my bladder again. My bed started moving down and then stopped suddenly because the bottle found itself wedged under the bed. The only explanation I can think of for that was when my blood pressure was checked. I lifted the bed, moved the bottle as much as I could and then lowered the bed again. Those bottles are really tough! The bottle wasn’t emptied and so when I was done it was almost full. Ug!

Mom came to fetch me at 16:00 but arrived fifteen minutes early. I heard her quip that I was fast asleep, so I exclaimed that I was indeed awake! The curtains were still closed around my bed and when they were opened I realised that I had been asleep in a sauna! I was really hot and sweaty.
The tech arrived to remove the test equipment and warned me that he was going to be using acetone. I got quite high before leaving the hospital ward! As soon as I was free I made a quick dash for the bathroom. Such a great feeling to not have to…

Life after this was a bit of a blur. Did I have Ward Lag?
I tried to go to bed early, but this didn’t work too well. I lay on my bed thinking of random things when…
My brain finally figured out how to wake me up! Use an illogical accident dream where mom falls through a hole in a flight of stairs that wasn’t there after climbing down these steps that weren’t there either, because the lift we used slid up the diagonal lift shaft a floor too high. How did she get into the lift shaft with me? Why not push a button? And why was there a help desk in the lift shaft just before the non-existent hole appeared?
So it took me a while to figure out that I was woken up for needing to use the bathroom.

In the end, all I can say is that I will not wear synthetic clothing in a hospital bed where two sensors are strapped to my chest and abdomen.
My skin got quite irritated and took several days to calm down and allow me to stand up straight and not slouch all the time to avoid anything touching the sensitive parts.

Plus I got a lovely marked forehead…

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