Ten years, eleven months and about twenty five days ago I celebrated my 21st. I didn’t have many friends that came to my party compared to my siblings, nor did I have any fancy ring to the evening. I tried to simulate most of it, but I lacked the confidence in myself to do all that fun stuff.
Not much to write about, but of my friends who came I don’t think I actively know any of them today. This is sad. I know that I have tried to re-kindle the friendship, but such is life I guess?! Back then I don’t know if I knew what my future was going to be, although I had this thing called faith. Life for me revolved around church and studies.
If I could redo my life ten years ago, I’d probably not change much, although I’d probably try study more or try harder to study isiZulu, or attend[ed] a university with people interaction – I went to UNISA. Seeing UP (The University of Pretoria) recently, I must admit that university could have changed my life and I might not have gone to do Ignite in 2008; SUIS may not have had me as a leader; and a whole bunch more! And I probably would not have heard about OM or their ships [Doulos, Logos II and Logos Hope], which means MDT may not have happened when it did or if the career crunch exercise were not to have taken place (moving me away from things I had studied), then something else might have taken place. Not that I regret working in a stressful IT job where I was expected to know, or google things and act like I knew what I was talking about or fixing. Too many promises of training that never took place and me being gullible… But according to people that think they know me, I am gifted in IT. Well no, I’m gifted in logic and understanding systems. Handiwork is my thing and I live on detail; Can I show you my artwork? (I still owe my brother a painting…); I make things with the supplies I have, even if I fail, I still try and make life interesting to live in – take this example of this below:
I have a network cable that goes to my room and I wanted to see if I could listen to music with the speakers in the cupboard that I had paired up to an old PC speaker amplifier. I knew the technical details would probably be wrong, but I wanted a challenge and put two old network points to use with some components I had…until I remembered why the one network point was in the rubbish box. At least it worked for a while before I wiggled the RJ45 socket and then there was silence :-(
Using my skill of soldering I was able to be a huge help in Zambia by making loads of microphone, instrument, speaker and patch cables. My understanding of the logic used in theatre lighting consoles and dimmer packs allowed me to figure out how they functioned and set them up to work properly. BUT get this! That probably wouldn’t have happened if I did not have a meeting with certain people and meet others who would lead me to a guy known as Tiny. Who am I to say that it would not have happened in the end?
I am doing two things that are keeping my mind busy. Learning the art of Piano tuning and the art of movement if you can call it that. Actually the latter is my form of gym and I’m proud of my nickname! I have been nicknamed Sid (the sloth from the Ice Age movies), because I’m slow. I have always been slow until I understand and process the new skill, [or] movement, [or] logic, etc.
Memories flood back from Pre-, Primary- and High School, and my second paid job where I was criticized for being slow as well as being bullied at another paid job for being slow and having bad communication skills when it came to one-on-one interaction…but I was brilliant on the phone, and hated it at the same time. I have never been good at interaction between other humans, but that has got nothing to do with who I am or what I’m good at. Yup, guess that’s the Aspie part of me being honest and failing to be understood by others and understanding them.
And the best part? I’m actually enjoying myself and having fun; more than I had when I was doing IT. Plus I get to practice my interpersonal skills and get “coached” by observing others around me.
Sick people can infect others – this is a consequence of not resting. Let me deal with the consequence of not finishing this post when I was instead watching TV, and let me deal with the consequence of six hours of sleep. Oh and I’m not sick with an infection. I’m sick of/from being hurt and damaged from various things, and the consequences of going back to those things are helping me understand why I need to rest. I’m in God’s hands. Like it or not, God is in control and I’m directing the movie. I need to give the title back to God, but I need[ed] to understand why and so it may take some time before God gets to take the reigns……